The fine lines
The complicated nature of the gifts we give and receive
Maine has been an unexpected gift, but it took me a while to see it that way. When the opportunity came to build a life over a hour beyond where the Amtrak line ended, moving to a more rural part of the country with a sparse Jewish population seemed like a sacrifice. Now, as I look at my pantry, filled with multicolored jams, pickles, and other foods preserved from my garden, I see abundant blessing. I am nourished by building my family in a place where I can feed those I love with my own hands, deeply rooted in a once-foreign land. The value of gifts we receive are not always constant or immediately clear.
In this week’s portion, Parashat Vayeshev, our ancestor Joseph receives a gift that would be the envy of all those around him. His father gives him a k’tonet pasim, some kind of special garment that evidences the deeply love Jacob has for him. Even though Broadway describes this garment as “a technicolor dream coat,” the Hebrew’s meaning is far more ambiguous. Rashi posits that k’tonet pasim means a “robe made of fine wool and blue,” based on the usage of a similar word in the Book of Esther. The Italian commentator, Sforno, indicates that this ktonet conveys leadership status, based on a parallel usage in Isaiah. Others have highlighted that the term “k’tonet pasim” is only used as a fully identical term one other time in the Bible — to describe Tamar’s (a woman) clothing the Book of Samuel. Maybe, through the gift of this coat, Jacob publicly recognizes something more feminine or gentle in Joseph’s nature? Maybe it wasn’t just because of jealousy that Jacob’s brothers tortured him and sold him into slavery in a far away land…
However, one of the most interesting and popular readings of the k’tonet pasim, is that it is a garment that portends the tragedies in Joseph’s future. According to Rashi, each letter of pasim: pay, samech, yud, and mem are the first letters of all of the individuals who would oppress Joseph in his later life: Potifar, the slave traders, the (Y)Ishmaelites, and the Midianites. Even though the coat was given as a gesture of love, its ultimate meaning was not monochromatic — its stripes represented the mixed legacy and promise of Joseph’s life: both fatherly love and the cruelty of his brothers and his future masters in Egypt.
Finally, Sforno offers an alternative meaning: playing on the similarly-spelled word “piyus,” which can mean “compensation” or “reconciliation.” Sforno postulates that Jacob gave Joseph this garment not just because he loved Joseph the most, but rather because he wanted to give something his son something that made up for the loss of his mother, Rachel (who died in childbirth with brother Benjamin.) Even though Jacob’s internal motives were good, Joseph’s brothers may not have understood the complicated and compensatory nature of their father’s gesture. To them, it could have just looked like or felt like favoritism. Their misread of Jacob’s true intentions led to misery and tragedy for our founding family.
One gift, one gesture, one coat can seem like a simple thing. But, as we learn from Joseph’s story, a single piece of clothing can simultaneously convey love, favor, tragedy, and pain over the course of a lifetime. Joseph’s k’tonet pasim, teaches us that gifts are complicated, and don’t always retain the initial intention of the giver or the recipient. As we approach this season of gift giving, let us remember that the meaning and legacy of the gifts we give can always change — for the better and the worse. Joseph’s coat reminds us of how much control we lose when a gift leaves our hands, but also of the transformative power our gifts can assume.
Shabbat Shalom and Happy Hanukkah!